Kissing and Never Talking to Each Other Again
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Sometimes things happen between friends that step over the boundaries of mere friendship. Ane common thing to happen between friends is a kiss. Kisses are normal when people have intimate feelings for one another or are but excited and in the mood for physical contact. Sometimes kisses might happen because nosotros are emotional for some reason and just act on our feelings without thinking. Regardless of the reason, many people want to just remain friends after a kiss. Luckily, with clear communication and some attempt, you and your friend volition remain friends after your buss.
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Have a interruption if you feel y'all need one. For many people, it might be helpful to put a little distance betwixt them and the friend they kissed, especially since this can reduce some of the tension or clumsiness.[i] Taking a interruption might give you the strength and the perspective needed to continue the friendship.
- Make sure to tell your friend that you lot think a intermission would be adept. If you just stop talking to them or seeing them altogether, they might think that you don't want to be friends anymore.[2]
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Talk nigh it. The start thing you should do afterward the buss is talk nigh it. Talking nearly what happened is the first step in making sure yous can maintain your friendship. Ultimately, your discussion will let y'all both hold upon how you want to deed and how yous desire to proceed.
- Share your feelings about what happened. Say something like, "I feel we actually need to talk about what happened."
- Hash out your concerns well-nigh what it means for your friendship. Say something similar, "I'm worried that the buss might injure us every bit friends."
- Let each other know if you have deep and sincere feelings that go beyond friendship. If either of you do, it is best to know how the other feels. This way you'll both movement forward every bit friends with full knowledge of how the other person feels.[3]
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Come to an understanding. Subsequently yous've talked virtually the osculation, you should both come to an understanding virtually how yous want to handle it and move forward. Coming to an agreement will enable y'all both to know how you should both human activity.
- In your agreement, yous should both attempt to come to an understanding about how you lot want to motion forward every bit friends.
- Attempt to hold upon how you'll handle the kiss in terms of telling other friends.
- Try to agree upon how you'll want to maintain the relationship going forrard.
- Try to found some boundaries, like no more kisses or less physical contact.[4]
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Proceed to communicate. While your initial chat might take solved a lot of problems and prepare the tone for a continued friendship, i or both of you might still be dislocated about your human relationship. At the same time, i or both of you lot might still have some feelings for each other. This is why it is essential to go on communication in order to avoid defoliation.
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Go on being open and honest about your feelings. Say something similar, "I think we should be completely open about how we feel about the osculation and each other."
- If your friend wants to talk to you, encourage them to do so.
- If it works for your human relationship, talk about your feelings on a regular basis. This could exist weekly, or information technology could be more than frequent.[five]
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Abide by your understanding. Later y'all've communicated, come to an agreement, and worked out any confusion, you demand to abide by the understanding you've both come to. This will prevent any awkward situations.
- Endeavour to internalize what your friend said in your prior conversations. If y'all've both agreed to just "be friends," then you should both human activity as friends would.
- If y'all nonetheless agree feelings for your friend, resist the temptation to human activity on them. Call up, you both came to an agreement to be friends. If yous both wanted to enter a relationship, you would have agreed to do then.
- Remember that the kiss was a one-fourth dimension thing. Your goal is to be friends.[6]
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Act every bit normal as you tin can around the person. Acting normal is key to maintaining your friendship. If y'all human activity awkward or treat your friend differently, it could endanger your relationship.
- There is no need to act all nervous afterward or avoid the other person. It happened normally, so human action unremarkably.
- If y'all're nervous or feel awkward around your friend, talk to your friend about it.
- Being nervous or feeling awkward later a kiss is normal.[7] Try taking a few deep breaths and remind yourself that the nervousness or clumsiness volition fade with fourth dimension.
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Stay friends. Perchance the most important thing you demand to practise to stay friends is to do simply that — stay friends. If y'all stay friends, and try to act the way you did before the kiss, your chances of maintaining the friendship are relatively high.
- Continue to talk to your friend as this includes confiding and sharing your feelings and thoughts as you did before
- Continue to exercise things together. You should try to go along doing the activities you lot did together before the kiss.
- Continue to view each other as friends. If you don't view the person as a friend anymore, at that place volition be no manner to stay friends.[8]
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Avoid sharing information with others. An important thing to retrieve is to avert sharing information about the buss with other people. Sharing details near the kiss, or telling others almost conversations you've had well-nigh it, will simply endanger your relationship. Recall, the kiss and the post-kiss conversations were washed in trust.
- By non sharing, yous'll eliminate the possibility of gossip that could hurt or offend either of you lot.
- Avert involving others in the mail-kiss discussions. It is best to deal with the situation by yourselves.
- The just mode you should tell others nearly the osculation or the mail-kiss conversation is if both of you concord to do and then.
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Resist the urge to be jealous. Ultimately, one or both of you might wind up in a relationship shortly after your kiss. While it is perfectly natural to feel a little bit jealous of the other person's new clasp, you lot need to keep those feelings in bank check and resist jealousy as much as you can. In the finish, being jealous or resentful will only undermine your friendship.
- Don't deed out or be passive ambitious toward your friend afterwards they've entered a new relationship.
- Tell yourself that yous desire your friend to be happy. If their new partner makes them happy, this should brand you happy.
- Care for your friend'due south new love interest every bit a friend as well. Existence mean will simply endanger your relationship
- If you have any concerns or problems with your friend's new love interest, it is best to keep the thoughts to yourself or to discuss information technology with your friend.[9]
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Maintain activities with common friends. An important role of staying friends is that you need to continue your relationship in the context of your social circle. This ways that y'all should continue to practice things with each other and with your other friends.
- Keep to do the same activities you've done before. If this includes going to the movies together (with other friends), do then.
- Don't endeavor to win over or steal a friend in order to become someone on your side if you recall the friendship is going south.
- If you were the one who previously invited friends to certain activities, go on to invite everyone and don't exclude the person you kissed.
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Question
Can you get back to being friends after hooking upward?
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family unit matchmaking tradition with modernistic relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
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Proficient Answer
Before taking a break, discuss with your friend how it'll work. Yous might determine to non talk or hang out in person, merely notwithstanding text, or yous may decide to take a interruption entirely. It'southward upward to you.
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Question
Won't the friends develop feelings for each other?
TJohnson227
Community Answer
Not necessarily, but if it happens and both parties are single, information technology would be perfectly fine. At that place is aught wrong with existence friends before taking the next pace, oft those types of relationships piece of work out fifty-fifty amend.
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Question
What if your friend is married, you're both girls and you osculation? Can the friendship get messy? How practice you fix things?
It's probably already messy. If yous love your friend, you'll respect her marriage and will stop any sexual/romantic interactions. If y'all don't, yous risk making a much bigger mess.
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Question
What if he wants to exist more friends?
If you're not interested, just politely tell him that. Permit him know you'd all the same like to be friends. If he tin't accept that, that'due south not your trouble.
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Question
What if it's my best friends brother?
You can't aid who you develop feelings for, so my communication is to tell your friend you lot like her/his blood brother. Honesty is the best policy afterward all.
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Question
What if I'm a girl, the friend is a daughter, and I actually enjoyed the buss?
That's great! If you'd like to exist more than friends, tell her that. If she doesn't want to date you, endeavour to stay friends with her and detect another girl to exist your girlfriend.
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Question
What if you lot want a friends-with-benefits situation? Should you bring it upward?
Does information technology bother you? Would you like a clearer, more than committed relationship? Then you should bring it upwards.
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What if I take kissed with my "friend" several times, so the fourth time she says that she but wants to be friends, but I take feelings for her?
You merely have to take that she doesn't want to kiss anymore. Don't endeavor to force per unit area her to buss you lot if she doesn't desire to. Simply tell yourself that this is a friendship now and goose egg more. You lot have to respect her feelings.
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What if neither of united states talked near the kiss afterwards?
You accept two options: Follow their lead and pretend it never happened, or bring it up and talk to them about the kiss.
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What if we were both high and did non think this would happen?
Just talk to them about it afterwards when yous are both sober. Tell them how you feel about the kiss, and make certain you're on the aforementioned page. If it was a one-time thing and you just want to exist friends, goose egg more, tell them that, and I'm sure they'll understand.
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Article Summary X
While it can be tough to stay friends after an unexpected osculation, by talking most it, agreeing how to move frontwards, and interim normally, yous'll be on the right track. It may be bad-mannered, but talk to your friend about the buss and listen to what they have to say, since you won't be able to put it behind y'all without talking about information technology. After you've discussed your feelings, agree with your friend virtually what you desire your friendship to exist like. For instance, you may agree to no more than kissing or less concrete contact. Make sure to go along communicating with your friend later your initial talk, because ane or both of you may however accept feelings about the osculation. Although it'southward perfectly normal to feel nervous or awkward after a kiss, try to acquit normally around your friend so y'all don't encourage them to meet yous as more than a friend. For tips on how to avert feeling jealous following your kiss, read on!
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